friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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