I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
