Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
