the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
