What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just cropdusted the office
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
