Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
