he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
