Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
