It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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