I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
