And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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