i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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