An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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