I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
