New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
