Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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