Are we in a gay sports bar?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
