I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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