He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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