Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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