Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
