i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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