i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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