I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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