escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
sarcasm needs its own font
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
