Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
