false alarm. still invincible.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
