I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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