Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
