so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
