erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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