watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dicks are not precious.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
