Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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