I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
