I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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