What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
