so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
