So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
