My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
