Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
