Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
