I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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