why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
