Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Randomize
