I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
