It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
