What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
