in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
