Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Girls should come with a carfax report
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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