If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
