they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
